40-ish....................................49.

Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.

Athletic..................................No breasts.

Average looking....................Moooo.

Beautiful................................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure................On medication.

Feminist.................................Fat.

Free Spirit.............................Junkie.

Friendship first.......................Former Slut

New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s

Open-minded.........................Desperate.

Outgoing................................Loud and embarrassing.

Professional................. ..........Bitch.

Voluptuous.............................Very fat.

Large frame............................Hugely fat.

Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.